jasmine’s authoring journey: week 5

It has been a very, very emotional week. I’m beginning to understand how artists can become a recluse.

For one, you’re not working a regular job that requires you to have a fixed schedule and see almost the same people every day. You can only rely on talking to your friends on your phone, but since everyone is at work, no one really has the time to chat with you. They’re busy talking to their colleagues, the people who are working the same regular job as them. So you make lunch appointments and dinner dates… and in between those, you just do your own thing.

Two, there are days where you have no appointments and can spend the entire day at home talking to yourself. And after consecutive days of doing such, you start thinking that you had better get out and have some real human interaction, but then you find that people are hard to deal with when you’re not like them. It’s just so much easier not to talk to anyone.

And three, you are awake at hours that normal working people usually aren’t. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m actually returning to the regular workforce, I wouldn’t even bother trying to keep my body clock with only a 4-hour difference from local time.

Anyway, I’m not saying I’m becoming a recluse. I’m just saying that I’m beginning to understand why people who are pursuing their own thing can become one.

On a brighter note, I met up with two friends. One of them is an old church friend whom I have not spoken to ever since I graduated four years ago. We used to be pretty close and she would encourage me and pray for me. She sang and led worship, and was one of the leaders in the youth ministry. She is a very different person now. People change, I know, and I can’t expect her to be the same but it’s just a teeny bit sad.

Okay, this is not exactly the bright note I was aiming for.

See how things just seem to fall into the negative zone?

Okay bright note. My friend who was admitted into hospital? She’s discharged!

Bright note two. An interview opportunity came in at the last moment and I managed to make the timing.

Bright note three. R took me to the Jewellery and Gem Fair at Marina Bay Sands this weekend and it was an eye-opener. I must admit that I was extremely bored initially, but as I learnt more, it’s all actually rather interesting.

As I’m writing this, I just got to know of something which I probably should not talk about now. It hurts a little too much.

Three more weeks to the corporate world. My feelings are mixed.


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